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Full Circle: From 2007 to Now

In 2007, I started this blog as a wide-eyed college student stepping into the unknown world of higher education. I had no idea how much my life would evolve, the paths I’d take, or the resilience I’d develop along the way. Fast forward to today, I’m closer than ever to graduating with my degree from William Paterson University—a journey that feels like both a triumph and a homecoming. The Journey Back to School Going back to school wasn’t just a decision; it was a commitment to growth, a way to honor my goals, and a step toward proving to myself that it’s never too late to chase your dreams. Balancing coursework with my professional and personal life has been a challenge, but one I’ve embraced. Each class brings me closer to that degree, and now, as I prepare to graduate, I can’t help but reflect on how far I’ve come. The Cinemark Chapter Managing a Cinemark theater has been one of the most dynamic experiences of my life. It’s not just about movies (although, let’s face it, working in ...
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"if you weren't careful you could lose everything you've ever earned in life in a split second."

wow..... lot has happened recently..... half moved into newest apartment... still live at home and the 3 bedroom... I moved in with G. and M..... went to Italy with M....... got home got in huge fight with M. he moved out..... G. and I are complicated as ever.... I hate my life.... I dropped out of school....Both work places are nightmares to go to... I feel like I'm going absolutely no where... I'm completely broke and I work 60 hours a week.... I have loads of credit card debt.... I'm helping remodel our apartment....I'm sitting in the bath tub talking to G. on aim when I should have driven back to our apartment hours ago.....I can't stand anything anymore.... I have been drinking and smoking to the point of blacking out I become an emotional mess that no one can help or settle down.... where the f*&^ am I going what am I doing? In Italy I drank a ridiculous amount... I would go outside by myself in downtown Florence and sit and smoke and cry. wondering why...
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I jumped off a bridge and didn't fall

It's been 20 days since my last post. A lot has changed. The girls and I moved into the 3 bedroom apartment. They moved while I was at home at work, and then yelled at me for not moving my stuff with them. After I did move my things I got angry texts telling me that they were not moving my things for me> What? Oh My Lord I forgot a pen, a hair clip, salad dressing, and mustard. Lord help us for all I care the people who clean the apartment could have thrown it all out. So they gave me their keys and made me go get it. whatever ok fine..... I move into the new apartment bought stuff for my bathroom and a rug for my room to cover the huge iron mark on the floor ( no doubt in my mine that's why I got the biggest room). Everything was just as terrible as before, nothing changed what so ever. Changing the apartment doesn't exactly change the people you are living with. I took a chance jumped out of my indecisiveness. I agreed to put money toward another apartment. I must add...
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It's calm under the waves in the blue of my oblivion....

I don't know what I'm doing...... I'm wasting my time. I'm just getting over being really sick.... I'm on over load but not doing anything if that's possible. There are so many things I need to do and get done. Yet I find myself doing none of these things. I either mope around at home like I did yesterday or I hang out at J.'s house. I really like this kid but we are both non commitment people, but we still hang out all the time, I sleep over all the time. I'm helping him with things in his life at the moment. Funny hu? I can barely get myself to drive back to Kent and go to class or get myself to sit a write a paper or study. And here I am trying to put my friends feet back on the ground. I can't tell what's stressing or draining me? School, people, work, Roommates, Me??? Ahhhhhh I just feel like screaming as loud as I can and just start going crazy! B/c If I don't figure out what I'm doing to myself I most certainly will go crazy..... I...
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I can't explain, you would not understand, This is not how I am, I have become Comfortably Numb......PF

Ugh....Its been a while..... Roommates ok now we're moving the end of the week! yay I will have my own room and bathroom! hooray! I feel like crap. I don't want to even move. I don't care about school. I don't care about work. I'm at my height of procrastination in my life. I ignore everything except what I want to see. I don't know what I really feel. I wish I could just trade my life for someone who would want it. All I want to do is lay in bed. The blissful oblivion of sleep is where I want to hide. I haven't slept at my apartment for a while. I have been staying over J.'s house. Sleeping with someone else is nice and awful at the same time. I' m so tired. I'm restless with another person. It takes a lot to fall asleep but once I'm there its nothing. I don't dream when I sleep with him. Its a little strange. All together I like him. We connect on many levels and its nice to have someone to talk to. Nothing to deep cause that's not ...
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You've got mail

I'm sitting in my room at home watching You've Got Mail. It is by far one of my favorite movies. Sure some might think it's lame but I love it. Kathleen Kelly and Joe Fox pour out their inner most thoughts without actually giving any specifics. Favorite quotes; "Kathleen: Sometimes I wonder about my life. I lead a small life. Well, not small, but valuable. And sometimes I wonder, do I do it because I like it, or because I haven't been brave? So much of what I see reminds me of something I read in a book, when shouldn't it be the other way around? I don't really want an answer. I just want to send this cosmic question out into the void. So good night, dear void. " "JOE: Do you ever feel you become the worst version of yourself? That a Pandora's Box of all the secret hateful parts -- your arrogance, your spite, your condescension -- has sprung open. Someone provokes you, and instead of just smiling and moving on, you zing them. Hello, it's M...
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Dreaming of screaming Someone kick me out of my mind I hate these thoughts I can't deny.....SoaD

I like to look up the meanings of my dreams. Last night I slept at R. and kept having crazy dreams. D1. Rings on every finger and occasionally I would have to go look for them cause they would fall off. Random people would hand them to me, but the rings were kind of like the person. They were all different shapes and sizes. I had them on b/c of a movie or something? Meaning: "To see a ring on your finger in your dream, signifies your commitment to a relationship or a successful new endeavor. It also indicates your loyalty to your ideals, responsibilities, and beliefs. " Also- "To dream that you lose a ring or someone has stolen your ring, suggests that you will lose something or someone near and dear to you. To dream that you receive a ring, denotes that your suspicions and worries over you lover will end. You will come to realize that he is true to his heart and will devote himself to your interest." I can see how this fits into my life. Roommate madness, loosing f...
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