I'm sitting in my room at home watching You've Got Mail. It is by far one of my favorite movies. Sure some might think it's lame but I love it. Kathleen Kelly and Joe Fox pour out their inner most thoughts without actually giving any specifics. Favorite quotes;
"Kathleen: Sometimes I wonder about my life. I lead a small life. Well, not small, but valuable. And sometimes I wonder, do I do it because I like it, or because I haven't been brave? So much of what I see reminds me of something I read in a book, when shouldn't it be the other way around? I don't really want an answer. I just want to send this cosmic question out into the void. So good night, dear void. "
"JOE: Do you ever feel you become the worst version of yourself? That a Pandora's Box of all the secret hateful parts -- your arrogance, your spite, your condescension -- has sprung open. Someone provokes you, and instead of just smiling and moving on, you zing them. Hello, it's Mr. Nasty."
So in the past 3 days I have been threatened with a restraining order because of a facebook video blog I had nothing to do with except for the fact that my name was included. I've gone to great parties, worked and went out with this guy I met. Stupid roommates are making my life a living hell and it just got worse if that was even possible. I want to get on a plane and go to California to hide and visit my brother's friend. Quite frankly it would be so easy to just pick up and leave. I wonder if I always keep myself detached so I can get away.
This summer I could not wait to move back to school. I worked so much and was so blind to the fact that it is truly my refuge. Its the only place I can let my guard down and relax.
Today I slept all day. This situation truly drains me or I'm completely depressed. I'm most likely the second.
Decisions. It's not like I don't make them every single day, but these decisions are hard. Especially when I don't even know my exact options. My mother said I need to move out this week. Whether or not this gets ugly is up to them. I want out of the lease, but in a way I just want to stay until the end of the semester and just be miserable for money sake.
Safety. What is that? Safety is the state of being safe; freedom from the occurrence or risk of injury, danger, or loss. Are we ever really safe? No. Sure we do things to prevent injury, danger and loss, but is it worth locking someone out of their apartment? I think not. If I was a robber I would go through a window not through a dead bolted door. ugh
I slept until 3 today after an eventful evening of working until 4, going to a friends house after, driving home around 5, getting ready and finally going to bed at 7am. I need sleep in large quantities but who knows when I will actually get it. So after being awake for a couple hours, eating and bumming around I went back to bed. I slept again until 9, woke up and went to get food. During my ride I smoked and talked to my friends via text. R. was in town and was with my other friend J. going to the bars. So I met up with them to eat at Friday's. If not for them I would have not gotten ready or done anything today. So thanks you guys.
Compliments, doesn't everyone like to get them? I have received so many compliments this week and I think I take them for granted. I say thank you and go about my business, but I don't think I really absorb them. Maybe I have low self esteem, because I never think they actually mean it? Ya know what I mean? ha ha sounds ridiculous
I miss my dog when I'm at school. Right now she is laying right next to me in my bed. She is by no means small, Katy is a black standard poodle. My mother saved her from being put to sleep when she was 2. Katy was a crazy wild thing when we first got her. She was to big to be a show poodle and hard to control. I think all she needed was little freedom. At the time we had a retired show poodle James and he took the roll as her father. Basically calmed her down and now she is a well behaved loving poodle. Right now we have two cats Tim and Bruce, Tim is now laying on my bed as well. When my mom wakes up and walks past my room she always makes fun of the way I sleep. Katy lays beside me, there is always a cat at the end of my bed and I lay against the wall. It's so comfortable to sleep with them, another human being is another story.
I enjoy terms of endearment. Hunny, kiddo, love, etc. It's so much more personal then just saying Hey Abra.
I want to do so much tomorrow, I have soooo much to do tomorrow and I'm going back to the theater tomorrow night. School and work are becoming a hassle in my life. School has always been but never work. I love my work.
Being tucked in is the greatest thing. I was tucked in the other night when I was intoxicated staying at a friends house. It's like saying " I want you to sleep well let me make you comfortable, I care a lot about you."
I have a mosquito bite on my foot. It is the most annoying thing right this second. Who gets them there besides me.
I can't wait to live by myself. Well away from home at least. My surroundings would be my own.
I'm not a very emotional person. I may even try not to be emotional about things, but this week I just let loose. I have never cried so much in my life. Everything was just awful. In those moments it felt good, but now I don't understand why it helped. Crying just makes me able to feel bad about myself and my life.
I'm getting old and so are the people in my life. I have been meditating on this the past couple weeks. I say that I want to be older so I can drink legally but I guess I want everything to stay the same.
I'm getting tired again if that is at all possible after my 12 hours of sleep today, so I'm off to go finish watching my movie and go to sleep. Goodnight
Saturday, September 22, 2007
Friday, September 21, 2007
Dreaming of screaming Someone kick me out of my mind I hate these thoughts I can't deny.....SoaD
I like to look up the meanings of my dreams. Last night I slept at R. and kept having crazy dreams.
D1. Rings on every finger and occasionally I would have to go look for them cause they would fall off. Random people would hand them to me, but the rings were kind of like the person. They were all different shapes and sizes. I had them on b/c of a movie or something?
Meaning: "To see a ring on your finger in your dream, signifies your commitment to a relationship or a successful new endeavor. It also indicates your loyalty to your ideals, responsibilities, and beliefs. " Also- "To dream that you lose a ring or someone has stolen your ring, suggests that you will lose something or someone near and dear to you.
To dream that you receive a ring, denotes that your suspicions and worries over you lover will end. You will come to realize that he is true to his heart and will devote himself to your interest."
I can see how this fits into my life. Roommate madness, loosing friends, new boy.... interesting
d2: I was outside and a huge spider came flying around me. I total freak out about insects especial flying things. Naturally I was completely stressed and scared. In the dream I just stood there and let it bite me. It put its creepy legs around my head and bit the top of my head.
Meaning:" To see a spider in your dream, indicates that you are feeling like an outsider in some situation. Or that you may want to keep your distance and� stay away from an alluring and tempting situation.� The spider is also symbolic of feminine power. Alternatively, a spider may refer to a powerful force protecting you against� your self-destructive behavior." Also-"To dream that you are bitten by a spider, represents a conflict with your mother or some dominant female figure in your life. The dream may be a metaphor for a devouring mother or the feminine power to possess and entrap. Perhaps you are feeling trapped by some relationship."
So yet again it is the roommates showing up in my dreams again. The dominant female is not my mother but one of the girls in my apartment. hmmm
D3 Holding for dear life onto some type of wagon w. 6 men ranging in age and being taken to some unknown location. They seemed to be moving or sending something to someone. We went through a very residential area. When I got off the wagon I was lost and freaked out.
Meaning: "To see a� wagon in your dream, is symbolic of difficulties. It also signifies your thrifty nature and your unwillingness to take risks." Also- " To dream that you are lost, suggests that you have lost your direction in life or that you have lost sight of your goals. You may be feeling worried and insecure about the path you are taking in life. Alternatively, you may be trying to adjust and get accustomed to a new situation in which the rules and conditions are ever changing."
I have truly lost my direction in life I have no idea what I'm doing and I have no ambitions.
The roommates stuff are my difficulties and they drain me of every ounce of energy.
D4 Creepy dream. I followed the life of a woman who had children and a busy life. I don't think I was actually in the dream, just observing. Inside the house there were a set of stairs that went to a room that the mother was in. The grandmother went upstairs and got the mother who kept saying that she just lost her 10 year old daughter. The next moment the grandmother looked at her daughter and said she's been dead for 4 years. The mother continues to loose her mind and go crazy.
Meaning: Numbers first always important if you can remember them correctly
Four: "Four denotes stability, physical limitations, hard labor and earthly things, as in the four corners of the earth. It also stands for materialistic matters. You get things done. "
Ten: "Ten corresponds to closure, great strength, and gains."
This kind of follows a movie I watched the other day, so I think the numbers are only significant.
Basically I think I have to work hard to fix and make closure of the roommate situation, because I'm not stable right now.
I have to go to class and my computer is dying so I'll continue later.......
D1. Rings on every finger and occasionally I would have to go look for them cause they would fall off. Random people would hand them to me, but the rings were kind of like the person. They were all different shapes and sizes. I had them on b/c of a movie or something?
Meaning: "To see a ring on your finger in your dream, signifies your commitment to a relationship or a successful new endeavor. It also indicates your loyalty to your ideals, responsibilities, and beliefs. " Also- "To dream that you lose a ring or someone has stolen your ring, suggests that you will lose something or someone near and dear to you.
To dream that you receive a ring, denotes that your suspicions and worries over you lover will end. You will come to realize that he is true to his heart and will devote himself to your interest."
I can see how this fits into my life. Roommate madness, loosing friends, new boy.... interesting
d2: I was outside and a huge spider came flying around me. I total freak out about insects especial flying things. Naturally I was completely stressed and scared. In the dream I just stood there and let it bite me. It put its creepy legs around my head and bit the top of my head.
Meaning:" To see a spider in your dream, indicates that you are feeling like an outsider in some situation. Or that you may want to keep your distance and� stay away from an alluring and tempting situation.� The spider is also symbolic of feminine power. Alternatively, a spider may refer to a powerful force protecting you against� your self-destructive behavior." Also-"To dream that you are bitten by a spider, represents a conflict with your mother or some dominant female figure in your life. The dream may be a metaphor for a devouring mother or the feminine power to possess and entrap. Perhaps you are feeling trapped by some relationship."
So yet again it is the roommates showing up in my dreams again. The dominant female is not my mother but one of the girls in my apartment. hmmm
D3 Holding for dear life onto some type of wagon w. 6 men ranging in age and being taken to some unknown location. They seemed to be moving or sending something to someone. We went through a very residential area. When I got off the wagon I was lost and freaked out.
Meaning: "To see a� wagon in your dream, is symbolic of difficulties. It also signifies your thrifty nature and your unwillingness to take risks." Also- " To dream that you are lost, suggests that you have lost your direction in life or that you have lost sight of your goals. You may be feeling worried and insecure about the path you are taking in life. Alternatively, you may be trying to adjust and get accustomed to a new situation in which the rules and conditions are ever changing."
I have truly lost my direction in life I have no idea what I'm doing and I have no ambitions.
The roommates stuff are my difficulties and they drain me of every ounce of energy.
D4 Creepy dream. I followed the life of a woman who had children and a busy life. I don't think I was actually in the dream, just observing. Inside the house there were a set of stairs that went to a room that the mother was in. The grandmother went upstairs and got the mother who kept saying that she just lost her 10 year old daughter. The next moment the grandmother looked at her daughter and said she's been dead for 4 years. The mother continues to loose her mind and go crazy.
Meaning: Numbers first always important if you can remember them correctly
Four: "Four denotes stability, physical limitations, hard labor and earthly things, as in the four corners of the earth. It also stands for materialistic matters. You get things done. "
Ten: "Ten corresponds to closure, great strength, and gains."
This kind of follows a movie I watched the other day, so I think the numbers are only significant.
Basically I think I have to work hard to fix and make closure of the roommate situation, because I'm not stable right now.
I have to go to class and my computer is dying so I'll continue later.......
Dream definitions: Dreammoods.com
Thursday, September 20, 2007
My World Has Just Crumbled Around Me and Now I'm Trying to Put the Pieces Back Together
I had to give myself a couple days before writing so my blog didn't become some vulgar mess about my living situation.
I'm currently sitting in one of my favorite spots. The library's quiet area.... with my headphones on listening to Bach and Mozart. Ahh peace at last....
I have been hiding for the past couple days and I just realized this yesterday. Instead of going to my apartment and suffering in the awkward hostile environment, I have been running away to my work places, home, library or out with my friends. Last night was the first time I have slept in my apartment in almost 5 days. I was locked out of my own apartment two nights ago. and had to sleep at a friends house at 4 in the morning. But the roomies and I chatted yesterday.
After being a wreck for 2 days I sat down with them at 2:15 yesterday and we talked. They told me things that they hated about me and vice versa. It was very stress relieving and strange. We came to the conclusion that we could not live like this for much longer and we had to change. I have to tell them my schedule and when I'm not coming home. I feel like I'm 10 but whatever makes them happy. We are moving into a 3 bedroom apartment across the hall so that I don't have to share a room anymore. I'm not aloud to sleep all day on my day's off, but as soon as I have my own room I will sleep and not sleep whenever I damn well please. I will have my own bathroom and we will have a task list. I have the option to leave after this semester. Which quite frankly I was contemplating getting my own apartment tomorrow but I wasn't aloud to get out of the lease. Ugh
I was desperate for someone to tell me what I should do. I talked with all my friends my mother and brother. All I got was "do whats best for you." And I honestly could not make a decision. I was loosing my mind. What's best for me?? I guess I don't really think about that to much, but at the same time I'm very independent and think for myself. I don't know if that even makes sense, but I do care about all my friends and family before myself. This week in my life has been all about me. It was all I could think about. I felt like I was at a break in the road where it divided in two.
Like in Robert Frosts Poem The Road Not Taken "
"
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference."
My mother told me that when I was older I will look back on this and laugh. Truly I didn't know what I was going to do. I still have the same decision awaiting me at the end of the semester. Whether or not I should move out and get my own place or live another semester in misery. It may seem minute but it can make all the difference...Happy or not?
I'm currently sitting in one of my favorite spots. The library's quiet area.... with my headphones on listening to Bach and Mozart. Ahh peace at last....
I have been hiding for the past couple days and I just realized this yesterday. Instead of going to my apartment and suffering in the awkward hostile environment, I have been running away to my work places, home, library or out with my friends. Last night was the first time I have slept in my apartment in almost 5 days. I was locked out of my own apartment two nights ago. and had to sleep at a friends house at 4 in the morning. But the roomies and I chatted yesterday.
After being a wreck for 2 days I sat down with them at 2:15 yesterday and we talked. They told me things that they hated about me and vice versa. It was very stress relieving and strange. We came to the conclusion that we could not live like this for much longer and we had to change. I have to tell them my schedule and when I'm not coming home. I feel like I'm 10 but whatever makes them happy. We are moving into a 3 bedroom apartment across the hall so that I don't have to share a room anymore. I'm not aloud to sleep all day on my day's off, but as soon as I have my own room I will sleep and not sleep whenever I damn well please. I will have my own bathroom and we will have a task list. I have the option to leave after this semester. Which quite frankly I was contemplating getting my own apartment tomorrow but I wasn't aloud to get out of the lease. Ugh
I was desperate for someone to tell me what I should do. I talked with all my friends my mother and brother. All I got was "do whats best for you." And I honestly could not make a decision. I was loosing my mind. What's best for me?? I guess I don't really think about that to much, but at the same time I'm very independent and think for myself. I don't know if that even makes sense, but I do care about all my friends and family before myself. This week in my life has been all about me. It was all I could think about. I felt like I was at a break in the road where it divided in two.
Like in Robert Frosts Poem The Road Not Taken "
"
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference."
My mother told me that when I was older I will look back on this and laugh. Truly I didn't know what I was going to do. I still have the same decision awaiting me at the end of the semester. Whether or not I should move out and get my own place or live another semester in misery. It may seem minute but it can make all the difference...Happy or not?
Sunday, September 16, 2007
But I'm no walker away , No complaint I got much to gain so they keep testing me , And I keep feeding their face.......KoL
Ok, I'm sitting in my living room at the moment, because I can not sleep in my own apartment. I tried and tried but sleeping was far from what I wanted to do. Right now I have decided to ask the girls to lunch this week. When they are both available...ha ha I can't live like this for another second. I refuse to be miserable for an entire year. I just won't deal with it. It completely stresses me out. Even though I'm trying to figure things out I'm still going home tomorrow and trying to stay away from my apartment. Maybe I will leave a note on the fridge or try to talk to them tomorrow? who knows I know this will not be easy for me. Right now there is absolutely no communication. I don't even say hi and neither do they. This must change, if we are going to act like human beings. I am not perfect and neither are they. We have to make rules and a guide lines. I absolutely hate coming home to a house full of people I don't know! I want a task list or something so we each have a assigned thing to clean when it needs done, so I don't get yelled at to clean when I'm not even here to clean. If I'm not here 80% of the time how much mess do I make?? Yes I know that it has to be a fair distribution of tasks but when I get home they are sleeping and when I'm sleeping they are awake. Makes things a little hard when I try to be quiet opposed to them. I will make them not hate me! ha ha I'm sick of living like this!
I'm a sucker for classical music. Right now at 3 in the morning I'm listening to Mozart's requiem. Feeling optimistic for the death of this horrible living situation.
Through my head phones I keep hearing this stupid, awful and annoying beeping! I think I maybe loosing my mind. But never fear I'm going to address everything I can think of so they will be open with me. I don't care if they tell me everything they hate about me! As long as there is a way for us to fix the tense hostile atmosphere.
I suppose I will finish up some homework. ha ha Since I will not return to my bed until I get home tomorrow.
I'm a sucker for classical music. Right now at 3 in the morning I'm listening to Mozart's requiem. Feeling optimistic for the death of this horrible living situation.
Through my head phones I keep hearing this stupid, awful and annoying beeping! I think I maybe loosing my mind. But never fear I'm going to address everything I can think of so they will be open with me. I don't care if they tell me everything they hate about me! As long as there is a way for us to fix the tense hostile atmosphere.
I suppose I will finish up some homework. ha ha Since I will not return to my bed until I get home tomorrow.
I feel like a lost sock in the Laundromat of oblivion.
I hate my roommates. I'm slowly being removed from the apartment. It's just little things. For instance, things that I bought for our place are now MIA or thrown in my pantry area. A God awful picture of me they had in our living room had been replaced with a picture of the two of them. Quite frankly it makes me laugh hysterically. How immature? I'm half tempted to just ask them if there is someone else they would like to live with so I can move. I really do not want to go through the agony of moving my stuff again. I feel like things will not work out. At this point I really don't even feel like trying anymore. I guess its my fault as well. I'm really unhappy with my living arrangements. I try not to stay there very much at all. Just today I was going to the grocery store and had an awful feeling about returning to put my things away. Another thing! So say I go to take a nap during the day. I swear as soon as I put my head to the pillow the blinds are pulled open, music starts blaring and they start chatting about me. The reasons I hate girls so much are that they like to play mind games, they're snotty, self-centered and fake. Now I guess this doesn't apply to all girls, but most of them. I grew up with 3 brothers and I loved not having all the drama. But anyway they talk away as if I go into some coma when I lay down and can't hear anything they are saying. They are so immature.
On another note. My week was pretty good. I went home on Monday, Wednesday, Friday. ( to get away from my own apartment ) Went to Cleveland twice for random activities. I had lots of fun. Saturday I went to a birthday party for an 80 year old friend of my family. Had a blast...open bar ha ha ha I returned to school later that night to attend festivities. Woke up this morning and felt like I fell down a flight of stairs and then got hit by a train. Fun times. Many mornings I have to take walks to get my car. I have no problem with that. Better safe then sorry I suppose. But this morning I got a ride from my good friend R., I spent the night at his new house! fun times. He is kind of like my brother, rescuing, advice friend. ha ha Last night was a good night.
If I get all of my homework and stuff done today I think I'm going to see a movie... I don't know which one yet. I've been out of the loop for too long. I miss my job at the movie theater but I also dread going back. Its hard for me to have mixed feelings about a place that I love so much. Maybe I just needed the break and everything will be ok when I go back in a week.
Ok I have to admit it. My friends and I all think that it is hysterical to yell each others names. The girls in Italy are the ones who came up with it, but their tradition lives on at the hookah bar. It may sound dumb but every time I yell some one's name it's like a little bit of stress leaving my body. ha ha I feel like doing it right now but I may get in trouble in the silent work area in the library! Well I must get back to my school work.
On another note. My week was pretty good. I went home on Monday, Wednesday, Friday. ( to get away from my own apartment ) Went to Cleveland twice for random activities. I had lots of fun. Saturday I went to a birthday party for an 80 year old friend of my family. Had a blast...open bar ha ha ha I returned to school later that night to attend festivities. Woke up this morning and felt like I fell down a flight of stairs and then got hit by a train. Fun times. Many mornings I have to take walks to get my car. I have no problem with that. Better safe then sorry I suppose. But this morning I got a ride from my good friend R., I spent the night at his new house! fun times. He is kind of like my brother, rescuing, advice friend. ha ha Last night was a good night.
If I get all of my homework and stuff done today I think I'm going to see a movie... I don't know which one yet. I've been out of the loop for too long. I miss my job at the movie theater but I also dread going back. Its hard for me to have mixed feelings about a place that I love so much. Maybe I just needed the break and everything will be ok when I go back in a week.
Ok I have to admit it. My friends and I all think that it is hysterical to yell each others names. The girls in Italy are the ones who came up with it, but their tradition lives on at the hookah bar. It may sound dumb but every time I yell some one's name it's like a little bit of stress leaving my body. ha ha I feel like doing it right now but I may get in trouble in the silent work area in the library! Well I must get back to my school work.
Friday, September 14, 2007
About Me
So....This is my first time blogging....fun times....Well I'll tell you a few things about myself.
My name is Abra. Yes Abra. Its not a nickname or anything of that nature. Its from the book East of Eden by John Stienbeck. I'm a workaholic. I manage a Movie theater at home and a hookah bar at school. Both my work places are my secret hide outs when I don't want to deal with the crap going on in my life. I love my jobs because I fit in and I feel needed. I'm always the go to person when there are problems and I love that. 99.9% of the time I can get problems or issues fixed over the phone. I recently moved into a apartment with two girls I made friends with my freshman year of college. I thought that it would work out great contrary to me absolutely hating girls. ha ha I was so incredible wrong. I have been living there almost 3 weeks and its been anything but a pleasant experience. I share a room with one of the girls and I feel like I have no space to myself. I'm constantly being judged by them. Most nights I don't come home until 2 or later and then I sleep into 9 if i have class or 2 if I can sleep in. They can't stand the fact that I need some sleep every once in a while. We live totally different life styles. We are just totally different. The only thing keeping me sane are my friends. They will listen to my constant ranting and complaining about them. Two of my friends are in Italy and the one gets my complaints via e-mail ha ha But anyway My friend M. and I are going to visit them for Thanksgiving break! I can not wait! We have a 12 hour layover in Paris, France! So we are going to see the Eiffel Tower! After that we are going to go hang out and travel in Italy. I can't wait to just get away. Ugh I can't wait to go to Houston, Tx for New Years. I have family that we go visit ever 6 months or so. It is the greatest place just to chill and hang out with no trouble. Alot of the time I over whelm myself. This summer has been the most stressful summer I have had in a while. I managed the theater 40 hours a week and worked at the hookah bar 20hours a week. I have taken some time off from the theater for the first month of School. It has been lovely only having to really worry about one business. But sometimes I find myself turning my phone and computer off and just hiding for a day. I'm a very independent person. I have no problem going out and doing things by myself. In fact sometimes I prefer it so I don't have to deal with nonsense. My favorite thing to do is going to the movies by myself or reading a book and just getting lost in the stories. Don't get me wrong. I love going to a good party and having a drink or smoke. In high school I dated and had my fun, but I think at this point in my life I couldn't date anyone unless they were like me. Eventually I hope to get married and all that, but I can't even think about it. My mother keeps telling me that living in my apartment is good practice for be married. If that's the truth I might be s o l. I have three brothers two older and one younger. I love them dearly. My mother has been divorced twice. I haven't actually seen my father since I was 4 and my step father is another story. humm what else... I'm currently writing at my hookah bar. Listening to my sweet play list and smoking a double apple Hookah. Collective soul, Coldplay, Dave Matthews Band, Blind Melon, Kings of Leon, Tom Petty, Cartel, The Postal Service are just a few of the artists. I love all types of music! Blind Melon is my new favorite band. Sure, I'm a little behind the times but good music is good music no matter when its made or popular. On this note I'm going to take off.....I actually have work to do! ; )
My name is Abra. Yes Abra. Its not a nickname or anything of that nature. Its from the book East of Eden by John Stienbeck. I'm a workaholic. I manage a Movie theater at home and a hookah bar at school. Both my work places are my secret hide outs when I don't want to deal with the crap going on in my life. I love my jobs because I fit in and I feel needed. I'm always the go to person when there are problems and I love that. 99.9% of the time I can get problems or issues fixed over the phone. I recently moved into a apartment with two girls I made friends with my freshman year of college. I thought that it would work out great contrary to me absolutely hating girls. ha ha I was so incredible wrong. I have been living there almost 3 weeks and its been anything but a pleasant experience. I share a room with one of the girls and I feel like I have no space to myself. I'm constantly being judged by them. Most nights I don't come home until 2 or later and then I sleep into 9 if i have class or 2 if I can sleep in. They can't stand the fact that I need some sleep every once in a while. We live totally different life styles. We are just totally different. The only thing keeping me sane are my friends. They will listen to my constant ranting and complaining about them. Two of my friends are in Italy and the one gets my complaints via e-mail ha ha But anyway My friend M. and I are going to visit them for Thanksgiving break! I can not wait! We have a 12 hour layover in Paris, France! So we are going to see the Eiffel Tower! After that we are going to go hang out and travel in Italy. I can't wait to just get away. Ugh I can't wait to go to Houston, Tx for New Years. I have family that we go visit ever 6 months or so. It is the greatest place just to chill and hang out with no trouble. Alot of the time I over whelm myself. This summer has been the most stressful summer I have had in a while. I managed the theater 40 hours a week and worked at the hookah bar 20hours a week. I have taken some time off from the theater for the first month of School. It has been lovely only having to really worry about one business. But sometimes I find myself turning my phone and computer off and just hiding for a day. I'm a very independent person. I have no problem going out and doing things by myself. In fact sometimes I prefer it so I don't have to deal with nonsense. My favorite thing to do is going to the movies by myself or reading a book and just getting lost in the stories. Don't get me wrong. I love going to a good party and having a drink or smoke. In high school I dated and had my fun, but I think at this point in my life I couldn't date anyone unless they were like me. Eventually I hope to get married and all that, but I can't even think about it. My mother keeps telling me that living in my apartment is good practice for be married. If that's the truth I might be s o l. I have three brothers two older and one younger. I love them dearly. My mother has been divorced twice. I haven't actually seen my father since I was 4 and my step father is another story. humm what else... I'm currently writing at my hookah bar. Listening to my sweet play list and smoking a double apple Hookah. Collective soul, Coldplay, Dave Matthews Band, Blind Melon, Kings of Leon, Tom Petty, Cartel, The Postal Service are just a few of the artists. I love all types of music! Blind Melon is my new favorite band. Sure, I'm a little behind the times but good music is good music no matter when its made or popular. On this note I'm going to take off.....I actually have work to do! ; )
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