Abracadabra

It's been 20 days since my last post. A lot has changed. The girls and I moved into the 3 bedroom apartment. They moved while I was at home at work, and then yelled at me for not moving my stuff with them. After I did move my things I got angry texts telling me that they were not moving my things for me> What? Oh My Lord I forgot a pen, a hair clip, salad dressing, and mustard. Lord help us for all I care the people who clean the apartment could have thrown it all out. So they gave me their keys and made me go get it. whatever ok fine..... I move into the new apartment bought stuff for my bathroom and a rug for my room to cover the huge iron mark on the floor ( no doubt in my mine that's why I got the biggest room). Everything was just as terrible as before, nothing changed what so ever. Changing the apartment doesn't exactly change the people you are living with. I took a chance jumped out of my indecisiveness. I agreed to put money toward another apartment. I must add...

I don't know what I'm doing...... I'm wasting my time. I'm just getting over being really sick.... I'm on over load but not doing anything if that's possible. There are so many things I need to do and get done. Yet I find myself doing none of these things. I either mope around at home like I did yesterday or I hang out at J.'s house. I really like this kid but we are both non commitment people, but we still hang out all the time, I sleep over all the time. I'm helping him with things in his life at the moment. Funny hu? I can barely get myself to drive back to Kent and go to class or get myself to sit a write a paper or study. And here I am trying to put my friends feet back on the ground. I can't tell what's stressing or draining me? School, people, work, Roommates, Me??? Ahhhhhh I just feel like screaming as loud as I can and just start going crazy! B/c If I don't figure out what I'm doing to myself I most certainly will go crazy..... I...

Ugh....Its been a while..... Roommates ok now we're moving the end of the week! yay I will have my own room and bathroom! hooray! I feel like crap. I don't want to even move. I don't care about school. I don't care about work. I'm at my height of procrastination in my life. I ignore everything except what I want to see. I don't know what I really feel. I wish I could just trade my life for someone who would want it. All I want to do is lay in bed. The blissful oblivion of sleep is where I want to hide. I haven't slept at my apartment for a while. I have been staying over J.'s house. Sleeping with someone else is nice and awful at the same time. I' m so tired. I'm restless with another person. It takes a lot to fall asleep but once I'm there its nothing. I don't dream when I sleep with him. Its a little strange. All together I like him. We connect on many levels and its nice to have someone to talk to. Nothing to deep cause that's not ...